So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Randomize
