Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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