I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
