I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
