Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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