This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
