NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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