omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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