the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
