If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
