I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
