peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
