I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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