remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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