Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize