please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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