I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Your dad touched me again.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize