dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
