At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
