In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
