Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
