How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She's like a pop up book from hell.
bring money and cleavage
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
