Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
