I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize