you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize