I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
