worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
