I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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