sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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