Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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