i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
