Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
