im drinking this country out of the recession.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
