hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my liver is dry heaving
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
