I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
