Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize