You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
