you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
