dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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