Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She announced her abortion via fbk
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
