I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
