Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
