so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize