Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i think i just lost a toe
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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