If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
