Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
