im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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