I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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