Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
