when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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