mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
