I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
