everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Randomize
